A deal with money

I am a typical ordinary smug who do not know how to hold my own money. This kind of problem is not new to any. This cancer lingers to the very root of every irresponsible individual unfortunately –like me. What is more is that I do have a part time job and still receiving from the pockets of my mother, shame on me. What do you call us? Irresponsible good for nothing extravagant penniless social climber. Oh mind you, I have an internet connection but I cannot afford to buy one single meal. Ridiculous, isn’t it? Who among you are the same with me? Who among you struggle to manage your allowances and of course salaries? Salary gives me the idea of a responsible career driven woman who masters the game of money managing that was ten years ago. An idea I have long gone replaced with the image of me a not so-well with holding money picture.

This comes no easy because like you and me our wallets are the same too. This is the hardest part of all. I have a job but my wallet cannot even look at its self. How about yours? I believe it shy in shaming me but its very existence felt it though. And yet even with the knowledge of this I refuse to change. Once money arrives I throw it away as if nothing in me was sacrificed to have it. A cancer, just like it oozing having your system and then slowly crawling to the very core of your being cutting all the sense of knowing what is need from want and from unnecessary unneeded but still you want it things. Then, viola! All gone, nothing remains, except my wallet –crying.

I do not take a single pride of this one. But I do acknowledge this indifference in me. I need to convict myself. Change is out of reach. It is very futile. It is placed somewhere I cannot grasp. BUT I have decided I have to vindicate the days I have spent, sweat I have poured and the sleepless nights I have endured. I have to bring justice to them by giving them a day just full of relaxation. They shall not worry how many of them would again be wasted because the master of the body they lived knows nothing in money management.

I shall save. Yes I will. This is easier said than done. However, taking one step to maturity is being able to decide what I should have for dinner tonight. And it includes being able to identify what to have and what to let go. I guess I will start with this. Shall we?


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