On the matter of pain and love


Love and pain are distinct and independent from each other. Love is love as much as pain is pain. They possess different feelings, cohabit different gestures and they manifest different reasons.

When you love, you do things without reservations. You give everything of what you have –time, happiness, success –the person becomes your inspiration; sometimes that person transgress your very mind and soul. When everything feels wrong it remains the only thing that is right. Fool it may seems but admit it, the memories you have with love make you smile, alone or not. Love will remain the only positive feeling in the world.

Was there pain when you were together with the person who means everything to you? When you were doing the only thing that makes you happy? When you laughed your heart out? Were you hurt? Was there loneliness? Did you feel sad? I would suggest you were not. All those time you are just happy. You are full of love, no pain.

But we are only human. We are not perfect and this is not heaven. You begin to expect from your friends, family, from yourself but they were not, including yourself, able to meet all these expectations. Now you are disappointed and very frustrated. How could all your expectations go to waste? Your friends forget your birthday when you were together all day long. Your father was not able to go to your graduation after all the reminders you sent him. Just like when he told you his going to your basketball match but he did not show up. When you thought he is the one but he thought differently. You become bitter and hatred found your heart. It stayed there, slowly it engulf everything. Hatred crushed your heart. Now, you are in pain. Was there love? When you cried? When no one was there for you? When you were lonely and everything was dark? Again, I would suggest there was none, only frustrations, disappointments, bitterness and sadness. Now you are in pain.

However, I am not blind not to see that it was only after you have loved so much that pain entered your life. It was only after being hurt too much that you have realized it was indeed true love. These two may have different reasons for existence such that they manifest different feelings and reactions but they have come from the same subject and source of life –the person to who love or pain is directed to.

You may love so much that it would be impossible for pain to stay. Yet, it is also very possible that you have felt so much pain that your heart becomes numb and love becomes impossible. You see, people can love while hurting and breaking inside as much as you can be very angry and hurt and in so much pain yet you can still love. Humans are very complicated. We do not want to be hurt. At all times we try to avoid pain. But by doing so would it not be the same as avoiding love and happiness? Is it not the same with if you do not want to be hurt, do not love. How is that even possible? It is just and natural for people to fall in love – to places, things, and people- to almost everything.

Love or pain may be felt without the other. But these two will always be the checklist of the existence and reality of each other.


On the note that students should obey authority

Today, I am trying to finish my homework. It is a case digest assignment. There are nineteen cases to be digested and I am now on number 11. However, this post is not about my homework. This is about obeying authority.

Being at law school is a choice every law student made. It was never something that someone imposed to them. The moment you made the decision that you are going to enter the gate of hell; it is presumptuous to say that you are ready to take all kinds of flares that its flames have -you must have come prepared.

One of those flares is nothing more than obeying the authority of the one who holds such in the premises of academe -the teachers. A student should obey his teacher. This is elementary. When the teacher requires something,the student is expected to comply with it. If such requirement is so much for the student, his first response should be on “what is the purpose of this requirement?” The student should inquire on the very essence and reason why the teacher has given such homework. He should not risk an argument which will hold his virtue without existence.

The authority of the teacher over his students, if not absolute should at all time be uphold. It is not for the student to question nor for a student to curse.

This is very much like the society right now. People do not and will not obey authority. Neither that of heads of the family nor the head of the State and his government. People only want to do what are pleasing to them. Those that are more convenient and easy. And when they are given more -which are very necessary they will complain. We do not want to be bothered by something that should bother us. We hate anything that would require our obedience. And yet, whose choice is it to be under anybody’s authority?

When people cannot obey simple authority, like those of the teacher, what a chaotic world would this be?

The importance of obeying authority lies on the potential of a person to harness respect even when the situation calls for disagreements. Imagine kids becoming adults who have been trained well when to obey and , as I have said, in the purview that teachers may cross the line of the extent of their authorities, when to suggest another academic remedy. Would it not be a well-made society?


This adventure is what you perfectly call huling-hirit as the first class of the semester begins the next day. Just like any other student, I too would want to make one more blast before entering the campus. So, what we had was memory banking with the sea and the falls.

Originally, it was only a get-away to the magnificent and alluring Badian white sand beach but luck was quite late because the sea was not in a high tide, it was around 10:00 in the morning when we arrived, the same time when I first met this paradise well I guess luck comes once. Since another fantastic place was waiting to be visited around the area we decided to have that 10-minute ride going there.

And so we have met Kawasan Falls. See that deep-blue enthralling water. And mind you, the first dip of my toe sends shivers to my whole body. It was very cold that it took all the hotness my mind possessed.


The falls is actually not that huge that it would engulf you any minute yet it is enough to send wonders to your being. With the hotness of Metro Cebu I know I will be looking for this. Bet not all coldness are negative. Kawasan falls, I’ll be back!

IMG_20151103_124939After those freezing moments we head back to where we should have been this beach!




That white sand, blue waters and the sea-breeze are love triangle that could go one for life! And this beautiful place, as I would want to believe is still unspoiled. I mean the place is perfect for a get-away where no too many people had yet crowded. It is like taking a vacation in your own beach paradise!

One tip though, morning high tides are the best of this beach. Next time it is going to be sunset meets sunrise.


A deal with money

I am a typical ordinary smug who do not know how to hold my own money. This kind of problem is not new to any. This cancer lingers to the very root of every irresponsible individual unfortunately –like me. What is more is that I do have a part time job and still receiving from the pockets of my mother, shame on me. What do you call us? Irresponsible good for nothing extravagant penniless social climber. Oh mind you, I have an internet connection but I cannot afford to buy one single meal. Ridiculous, isn’t it? Who among you are the same with me? Who among you struggle to manage your allowances and of course salaries? Salary gives me the idea of a responsible career driven woman who masters the game of money managing that was ten years ago. An idea I have long gone replaced with the image of me a not so-well with holding money picture.

This comes no easy because like you and me our wallets are the same too. This is the hardest part of all. I have a job but my wallet cannot even look at its self. How about yours? I believe it shy in shaming me but its very existence felt it though. And yet even with the knowledge of this I refuse to change. Once money arrives I throw it away as if nothing in me was sacrificed to have it. A cancer, just like it oozing having your system and then slowly crawling to the very core of your being cutting all the sense of knowing what is need from want and from unnecessary unneeded but still you want it things. Then, viola! All gone, nothing remains, except my wallet –crying.

I do not take a single pride of this one. But I do acknowledge this indifference in me. I need to convict myself. Change is out of reach. It is very futile. It is placed somewhere I cannot grasp. BUT I have decided I have to vindicate the days I have spent, sweat I have poured and the sleepless nights I have endured. I have to bring justice to them by giving them a day just full of relaxation. They shall not worry how many of them would again be wasted because the master of the body they lived knows nothing in money management.

I shall save. Yes I will. This is easier said than done. However, taking one step to maturity is being able to decide what I should have for dinner tonight. And it includes being able to identify what to have and what to let go. I guess I will start with this. Shall we?



People say I am the strongest. Frequently, they will ask how is it possible that I am not afraid of getting lost in the wilderness of life. This of course sounded like a compliment but like any other manifestation of accolade it does not come easy. I have to face –head on consequences and it comes with the price of not breaking down. But how could you not when that consequence is not less than being friend with no one. 

I have set marks of my own timeline. Personal goals to be made, from one point to the other, in between are not included but the finite points of every aim are set and it is not open for any influence of changes. I have set those marks with the cost on my mind –everything will be superficial. You will be like the river flowing, never stagnant; you have to remember that you cannot stay –you are not allowed to stay. You have forbidden yourself; it is the cost you have to pay.

See, the life I am making is not easy. Imagine being friend with no one? When your personality is the exact opposite of what you have decided long before, nobody will ever know. People will not suspect that you will be bearing the pain of leaving and being left. You cannot choose either of the both. Lucky are those who got to decide when it will be that they are the one leaving and when they will be the one to be left. But when your case is both, pain is unbearable and what’s worse is that nobody’s going to know about it, after all you are strong –they have perceive you to be strong.

Do not get me wrong when I said I cannot be friend with no one, that everything will be superficial because it is the saddest part of all of these. I have tried being superficial tried being shallow, making acquaintances; I tried to be civil. Simple hi’s and hello’s but as much as you could never paint love, I never succeeded. Later did I know, everything is too late, I am in the pit of getting hurt –deep because I have to leave and people cannot stay. I cannot bring them with me to the next point I have plotted. Wishing it would cause heartache, hoping for it is self-devastation. Painful but I carried it all. I have failed not to make friends and it is futile not making memories, being superficial is something I cannot be. It is difficult to battle the nature of your own existence –tell you, you can never depart from it. So, I have to keep it all. I have to be strong.

And since I have decided to get those points head on, tears are gems I cannot share with, I have to bear it all. But I’m not yet done, remember that in between those points are not mine, I cannot control any of those times. I will meet people; God will throw names I thought I never needed. I will get to know people and they’ll get to know me. That is something I have learned and I have accepted I cannot use authority in the plan I’ve made, that plan was not mine in the first place.

I cannot falter in this game of life. This will hurt and I have prepared my eyes for unseen rains. I have accepted that I cannot stay nor command people to go with me but it is settled that no matter how painful it may get a walled heart is something I cannot get. So I will welcome you with open arms; pour everything to the bond between us. I will take care of you as long as I can. I will be a friend when you need me or not. I will argue with you about life as much as you will with mine. I will listen to the rants of your love. I will get angry with you when I want. I will love you with all the time I have. And when it is time for me to move to the next point of my life, I will let you go with open arms. I will not ask you to stay or come with me because I know you too have wings meant to fly high in the sky. Rather, I will embrace you, land a kiss on your chicks and on three I will let you take the steps. I will watch you go and when you have taken the seventh step of goodbye I will call your name and shout

“Until then!”