On the matter of pain and love


Love and pain are distinct and independent from each other. Love is love as much as pain is pain. They possess different feelings, cohabit different gestures and they manifest different reasons.

When you love, you do things without reservations. You give everything of what you have –time, happiness, success –the person becomes your inspiration; sometimes that person transgress your very mind and soul. When everything feels wrong it remains the only thing that is right. Fool it may seems but admit it, the memories you have with love make you smile, alone or not. Love will remain the only positive feeling in the world.

Was there pain when you were together with the person who means everything to you? When you were doing the only thing that makes you happy? When you laughed your heart out? Were you hurt? Was there loneliness? Did you feel sad? I would suggest you were not. All those time you are just happy. You are full of love, no pain.

But we are only human. We are not perfect and this is not heaven. You begin to expect from your friends, family, from yourself but they were not, including yourself, able to meet all these expectations. Now you are disappointed and very frustrated. How could all your expectations go to waste? Your friends forget your birthday when you were together all day long. Your father was not able to go to your graduation after all the reminders you sent him. Just like when he told you his going to your basketball match but he did not show up. When you thought he is the one but he thought differently. You become bitter and hatred found your heart. It stayed there, slowly it engulf everything. Hatred crushed your heart. Now, you are in pain. Was there love? When you cried? When no one was there for you? When you were lonely and everything was dark? Again, I would suggest there was none, only frustrations, disappointments, bitterness and sadness. Now you are in pain.

However, I am not blind not to see that it was only after you have loved so much that pain entered your life. It was only after being hurt too much that you have realized it was indeed true love. These two may have different reasons for existence such that they manifest different feelings and reactions but they have come from the same subject and source of life –the person to who love or pain is directed to.

You may love so much that it would be impossible for pain to stay. Yet, it is also very possible that you have felt so much pain that your heart becomes numb and love becomes impossible. You see, people can love while hurting and breaking inside as much as you can be very angry and hurt and in so much pain yet you can still love. Humans are very complicated. We do not want to be hurt. At all times we try to avoid pain. But by doing so would it not be the same as avoiding love and happiness? Is it not the same with if you do not want to be hurt, do not love. How is that even possible? It is just and natural for people to fall in love – to places, things, and people- to almost everything.

Love or pain may be felt without the other. But these two will always be the checklist of the existence and reality of each other.