This is a simple letter of appreciation for two reasons.
First, thank you for reminding me the source and anchor of my EVERYTHING.
You may not know it, as I do not manifest it all the time but I really appreciate the fact that you are so patient with me. And that you take care of me so much more than I can ask for.
The cause of this letter is your simple gesture of cheering me up during my last semi-final examination. You know, I am not used to receiving affectionate messages or calls, not even the infamous “you can do it”. For long, I get passed my storms with some prayer of grace and it is always more than enough. John, you know well that it is hard for me to share my problem to anyone. I prefer telling people things that would make them happen than concern them with some trivial problems of mine. Sometimes, I would like to believe it is because I want to solve them on my own but the reality is that I am just too scared that people might see the weakness I am trying to hide. I always see to it that there is a well-built barrier between my struggles and the happy-go-lucky attitude I painted myself. So, this act of yours is actually very foreign to me. They are so new that I consider them jewels. Those kinds of acts may come ordinary to you as it could be the proper gesture and care of a partner whose other-half is facing problem, I am really not sure but to me, those are more than simple text messages. They reminded me of how great God is that he made sure to put me in a place where people would remind me of his greatness. And you are one of those people.
I must admit, so many are the times that I have forgotten to tell myself I can do it. Sometimes, negativity strikes pretty hard, right on the stomach that I deprived myself of affirmation, all because I have fallen into the disgrace of self-doubt. When challenges are mixed with anxiety, I get tempted and eventually, the pit of forgetting the Anchor of my strength comes in to me. One of those unfortunate moments was during my last exam. I cannot understand an ounce of what I was reading. My mind refused to take what it should be taking. I was hopeless and nearing downfall. Doubts came crushing and a single push would have send me crying in despair but then your constant messages reminded me of the source of my strength and the anchor of my confidence. You have no idea how much your act meant to me. John, they may be foreign but I have the intention of keeping my jewels until eternity.
Second, thank you for the grip of assurance. I have no idea that a simple cheer could give you more than the feeling of being taken cared-of. It was like an assurance that I could and would always have something that anxiety could never take away. Not once that you are unmindful of me. At all times you are very considerate and caring. You never compete with time but rather patiently wait for you turn. I may not have uttered how grateful I am to you but please know that I really am. You never were a priority, and when something would come up my first choice tends to be cancelling you out. And for so many times I thought you will give up. Waiting is not easy, people get tired, anxious and impatient. The next thing you know, they are gone. But you have proven me wrong. When I thought you have left, you stayed. You are patiently waiting, making sure that when I call you out, I would not call twice. You are always ready, even when waiting means a cup of coffee too. So, Babe, thank you.
With Love,
Danica.